4/11/2014

I haven't written in awhile. But not much has changed. None of the meds I'm on seem to work. For the past 2 days my whole bady has been throbbing and feels bruised. My back is spasaming and hurts so bad. I can't  sleep at all even with the new meds. I hate this so much!!!

3/29/2014

Today has been a pain from hell. All day my back has been throbbing, as well as my hips. When I walk I get shooting pains from my back to my hips to my knees where it feels like they are going to giver out. FML

3/19/2014

I feel like I'm just saying the same thing over and over. I feel like I'm in a never ending fibro flair. I hate this. I can't sleep. And have no energy to get anything done. I go to the new Dr tomorrow and I am freaking out, what if they don't do anything to help like the last Dr? And of course I didn't get the Lidoderm patches.....  why? Because the last Dr put on the prior authorization form that I needed it for pain management.... She was suppose to put the reason as in the 2 herniated disc in my freaking spine. I just want to give up :(

3/13/2014

Holy body pain batman. I just want to give up. Stupid insurance denied my lidoderm patches after they told me that they would cover them after prior authorization. My back feels like it is snapping in half today. I can literally feel the pain pulsating all over my body. And of course it was a damn snow day today, so I have 3 fighting kids, trashing my house and not listening to anything I say..... I am so sick of feeling like I do. I just want to cry. I hurt so bad and my house is trashed and I can't clean :(

I'll sleep when I'm dead

Which at the rate I'm going I fear that isn't to far off. My bp is sky high. I can't sleep for anything. I keep tummy cramps. I am exhausted yet can't sleep. It hurts to move. My head has been pounding for 2 weeks straight now. And I am forgetting EVERYTHING!!! I just want to feel normal. I am so tired of hurting like I do :(

3/10/2014

Well Mackenzie had 2 volleyball games Saturday. It was awful. My body just can't handle those bleachers. We came home and I just went to bed and let Hubby deal with the kids the rest of the day. Sunday I woke up with a migraine, and feeling like I had been hit by a train. I also think I'm retaining water, my fingers have been feeling all achy and swollen. I can barely move them. Today isn't much better. I'm glad the older 2 are at school and it's just me and V for most of the day. It's also kinda nice that she isn't feeling good so she isn't demanding a lot out of me today.

3/7/2014

Well after a rough start this morning and 4 hydrocodones my house is mostly clean.... I have been doing a little at a time and taking frequent breaks. Just doing dishes killed my back.The pain started at the lower center and went into my butt cheeks down my hips and legs. Even sitting down hasn't help alleviate it. I can almost say I'm ready to have surgery to fix it. But that scares me to death and honestly I can't afford to not be able to do anything for any amount of time after surgery. Don't can't get but 2 days off to help me out around the house, so yeah that just isn't possible for me right now :(

3/6/2014

Well I had my last appointment with my old PM Dr today.... And she wrote me a rx for hydrocodone 5/325's She gave me 60 and said it was up to my discretion how many I took a day. I have told her from the get go that 5's don't work, and that I end up taking 6-8 a day to get where I can move around and do things. She rx'd me Lidodrem patches for my back, hopefully my insurance will cover them. I can not wait to actually get to see a Dr that will actually care and want to help....

3/5/2014

Not a good day!!! I just want to lay down and cry I hurt so bad :(

3/3/2014

I just knew we were going to get some sort of crazy weather. My body is killing me and my fibro fog is crazy. I went in the bathroom 5 times before I remembered I had to pee. I alternate between diarrhea and constipation, I haven't had a normal stool in FOREVER!!! My back is killing me today, and it hurts to walk because of my knees and hips. My house is a hot mess and I can't clean it because I hurt so bad. I am so tired. I have ZERO energy to get anything done :(

3/1/2014

Woke up this morning feeling like I got hit by a train. I literally hurt from head to toe, My fingers hurt and are kinda locked up :(

2/28/2014

I have been in bed most of today. My hips and back are killing me. I can barely move my arms .... This crap sucks

2/27/2014

For the past 2 nights I haven't gotten more than 5 hours of sleep. I am seriously like the Walking dead here. My back is literally pulsating in pain. I have such a headache. I'm suppose to go to my Primary Dr. today at 10 am over my blood pressure meds. Why even bother? The meds don't work. I hurt so bad my bp is elevated, so what's the point in trying to fix it till my pain is under control? Today is a high pain day! Hide your children before I feast upon their brains. I never thought I would be a 32 year old that feels 87. Will it ever get better?

Introductions Please...

 Well I have meaning to do this for quite some time. So why not start today?

I have dealt with chronic pain for most of my adult life. My current dx's are fibromyalgia and 2 herniated disc in my lower spine.

Lately my hips are bothering me more and more, as well as I get shooting pains from my neck down my right arm that causes my fingers to lock up. And I can't squat down to pick anything up off the floor or it takes me 10 minutes to get up because I now have severe knee pain.

My current pain management Dr... well honestly they suck. I have NEVER seen an actual Dr the whole time I have been going there. She informed me that they only rx meds for 6 months and I'm at the end of the line for them. They only do intraventive injections. I have a a set of trigger point injections from them, which helped for about 2 hours and then for the following 3 days I felt like someone took a freaking 2x4 to my shoulders and neck. I couldn't even turn my head.

They have never helped me with my meds, they have me on hydracodone 5's which is like eating candy ...  So I end up taking 1 and 1/2 and 4 tylonal arthritis 3 times a day. Every rx they have written that was denied by my insurance they never tried to fix. Like my Cymbalta, when I was on it, flexeril, hydracodone 10, and trazadone, it realllllly helped me a lot. I could actually take part in my children's activities and clean my house. Now I can't stand for more than 10 minutes and I feel like I'm going to snap in half.

I have more flare-ups and high pain days now, then I have ever had in the past.

So they want me to do another epidural injection for my lower discs. Let me tell ya what happened at the last and only one I had done there.

My appointment was at 7:30 am. Hubby decided to go into work late so he could drive me to and from the appointment. We drop my older 2 Little's off at the bus stop and take the youngest with us. We get there and they lead me back to the room. The Dr comes in and tells me what he is going to do. That it won't hurt at all, and I will feel 100% better afterwards. (FYI He is a lying little punk!!). They numb my back with like a million shots (which he compared to bee stings, and I'm sorry if you have EVER been stung by a bee... that crap hurts!) He then JAMS... yes jams a freaking needle into my back, as in I felt pain from the site the needle went in to my toes and up to my head. At this point I'm all teary eyed and waiting for the promised relief from the medication the was going to inject.  He is such a lair head!!! When they medication went in, it felt like someone was pouring lava into me. I had insane pressure. I felt like my spine was going to snap in half. At this point I am in tears, as in bawling my eyes out ... at which point he told me to "suck it up" and that the "discomfort" I was feeling would be gone in 20 minutes. He finishes up and walks out of the room!!! I was in so much pain I couldn't move!!! I manage to hobble out of the room, on the way out the nurse tells me to go home and rest for an hour and that I would be able to go about my normal day then. So we get home, Hubby feeds the Little and heads off to work in West Va ( which is about an hour and some odd minutes away ). Through the day the pain gets worse and worse. I was in tears all day. By the time my older 2 got home from school I was laying in the floor hysterical and unable to move. Every time I tried to move felt like I was breaking my back and hips. My neighbor got home and came to check on me around 8:30 that night. She sat with me till 10:30 when Hubby got in from work. He carried me out to the car, had the neighbor watch my kids and we went to the ER. (Where I spent the next 7 hours). It took 4 shots in my IV to ease my pain. The Dx was.... ADVERSE reaction to the injection. My spine was so swollen he couldn't really read my MRI they had done. He said that when I first came in that he thought was was going to have to send me to MRH for emergency surgery from a compacted spine. ...

And these idiots want me to have another one?

Since having that injection, my back is hurtin 100% worse than it ever did before. Before I would have ok moments. Not anymore. It hurts to sit, to stand, and forget sleep.

I just don't know what to do. I can't keep living like this. My kids need a Mom that can do things with them, not an invalid that is in so much pain that she snaps over everything.

I go to a new Dr the 20th of March..... I really hope they can help me out